Nov. 01, 2014
Top Ten Scariest NBA Players
In honor of Halloween, we look at the ten 'scariest' players in the NBA right now
There aren't many scarier things in the NBA right now than Blake Griffin putting you on a poster (Kirby Lee-USA TODAY Sports)
Written by Jake Elman
Halloween is one of those holidays that you're not quite sure why it's a holiday, but you celebrate it anyway. Today, you'll see Mickey Mouse, superheros, and the occasional teenager wearing a Ray Rice jersey. This is also the one day a year where older men handing out candy to young children is morally ok, but that's not the focus of this article.
To celebrate Halloween, we're looking at the ten scariest players in the NBA. Now, this list is just on personal preference based on looks, play on the field, and incidents off the court. Without any more waiting, let's look at the ten NBA players that cause the most fear and intimidation.
10. Andrei Kirilenko, F, Brooklyn Nets
Don't get me wrong, I actually really like the player affectionally called AK47, and I think he has a chance to be a solid sixth man for the Brooklyn Nets this season. But, what makes him scary, at least in my book, is that he has on his back. Do you realize how painful that must've been? It's a weird way of starting this list off, but that tattoo is creepy.
9. Lance Stephenson, G, Charlotte Hornets
You guys want to know what makes Lance Stephenson so scary? When you get on his bad side, or you find a way to piss you off, he's not going to just get in your face, but he'll dominate you on the court. When Stephenson was snubbed for the All-Star Game last season, he put on an absolute show in the games after; that's the best way of saying, "Hey, All-Star Game deciders, you made a mistake."
8. Vince Carter, G, Memphis Grizzlies
When all is said and done, Vince Carter has a realistic shot at making the Hall of Fame, partly for how intimidating his play can be at times. I think a lot of people would put his Olympic dunk here, but I'm going for something a bit less memorable. Just imagine you feel your team has a solid chance of winning in overtime, and then this happens.
Hey, it may not look that impressive, but I was an 11 year old Nets fan when I saw that happen, and I was awed. Too bad the Nets traded him for Rafer Alston and Tony Battie...
7. DeMarcus Cousins, C, Sacramento Kings
To paraphrase a famous Emienm song, you don't want to mess with Boogie. Why? Because Boogie, will definitely fight you. Well, not always fight, but he'll definitely get in your face; Cousins had sixteen technical fouls last year, which led the league along with Blake Griffin and Kevin Durant. He's mean, he's a fantastic player in the paint, but if you piss him off, be prepared to scrap.
6. Kevin Garnett, F, Brooklyn Nets
One of the most notorious trash talkers in the entire league (), KG has remained scary even in his old age. There are times where you'll feel that rebound is coming to you, and then BOOM! Kevin Garnett pushes you out of the way and grabs that board. But, when KG was in his prime, he could really intimidate you on the court. Right, Andrew Bogut?
That was mean, no doubt about it.
Now in Charlotte, Lance Stephenson has recently made a name for himself as one of the league's scariest players (Sam Sharpe-USA TODAY Sports)
5. Chris Kaman, C, Portland Trail Blazers
Just going to leave this here so you can see why a veteran, journeyman, center made this list.
4. Chris 'Birdman' Andersen, F, Miami Heat
With all due respect to Birdman, when you look like this, you're pretty scary.
3. Blake Griffin, F, Los Angeles Clippers
There are many things that can cause you fear, whether it's taking the SATs or seeing a spider. But, I'd have to think going up against Blake Griffin is on there. Since his rookie year in 2010, the amount of times Griffin has put someone on a poster or the wrong end of a SportsCenter top ten has to be somewhere in the thousands.
2. Kobe Bryant, G, Los Angeles Lakers
Injuries and age have sapped Kobe Bryant of he dominant form the Black Mamba once always showed on the court, but there's no denying he remains one of the league's scariest players. You think you've won the game? Well, if you're playing the Lakers, you really need to wait until the clock hits triple zeros, because this guy will make the most improbable buzzer beater you'll ever see. This is one of my favorite Kobe Byrant moments, and this is prime Kobe at his finest.
1. Ron Artest/Metta World Peace/Panda Friend, F, Sichuan Blue Whales
Yes, I'm cheating here because Artest hasn't played in the NBA since the Knicks cut him this past winter, but come on. You already know Ron Artest is the scariest player in all of basketball, and if you don't believe me, I think this should say it all.
Happy Halloween, everyone!
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