Jun. 28, 2015
If NBA Players were Characters from "The Office"
My favorite hobby is watching NBA basketball, and my second favorite hobby is watching The Office. So, it was only a matter of time before I got bored at work one day and combined my two favorite hobbies, resulting in a list of quotes from The Office that I attributed to various NBA players. It's actually slightly more interesting than it sounds. Most people trying to break into the sports blogging world would write articles that would have a larger target audience, but I figure now that I'm an established blogger (I've written one article) that has been viewed, literally, dozens of times (mostly by me) I can start taking chances on more niche-y articles. So if you're a fan of the NBA AND a fan of The Office, this article is for you.
Dirk Nowitzki: "Swish, swish, swish. Nothing but net. And their jaws just dropped to the floor. African-Americans! So..."
James Harden: "Oh, God no, Dwight's not my friend...oh my God! Dwight's kind of my friend!"
Russell Westbrook: "Guess what, I have flaws. What are they? Oh, I don't know. I sing in the shower. Sometimes I spend too much time volunteering. Occasionally I'll hit somebody with my car."
LeBron James: "Do I need to be liked? Absolutely not. I like to be liked. I enjoy being liked. I have to be liked. But it's not like this compulsive need. Like my need to be praised."
Dwight Howard: "Look, I'm all about loyalty. In fact, I feel like part of what I'm being paid for here is my loyalty. But if there were somewhere else that valued loyalty more highly, I'm going wherever they value loyalty the most."
Kobe Bryant: "It's like I used to tell my wife: I do not apologize unless I think I'm wrong. And if you don't like it you can leave. And I say the same thing to my current wife and I'll say it to my next one, too."
Ron Artest/Metta World Peace: "Nobody steals from Creed Bratton and gets away with it. The last person to do this disappeared. His name: Creed Bratton."
Carmelo Anthony: "You know how some people say they're not in it for the money? Well, with all due respect to this job, I'm definitely in it for the money."
Scottie Pippen: "We're like one of those classic, famous teams. He's like Mozart and I'm like...Mozart's friend. No. I'm like Butch Cassidy and Michael is like...Mozart."
Kevin Durant (to Westbrook): "Why are you the way that you are? Honestly, every time I try to do something fun or exciting, you make it not that way. I hate...so much...about the things that you choose to be."
I hope Office fans enjoy reading this as much as I enjoyed writing it. Feel free to add any of your own quotes in the comments section.